who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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