I want to make a zoo with you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
