you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
