mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
