im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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