is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
