i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
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