The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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