Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
