He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize