is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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