a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He told me they were just razor bumps!
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
