the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
