I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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