I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize