i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
