Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
