Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Randomize
