She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
