STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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