It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
