Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
