I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
