Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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