you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
