New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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