every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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