great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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