The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
