im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
