That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
