Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

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(239): View more from Florida

you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.

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(518): View more from New York

it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

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(661): View more from California

I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.

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(206): View more from Washington

Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number

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(406): View more from Montana

Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.

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(801): View more from Utah

that may or may not have been my penis.

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