We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize