I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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