OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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