My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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