I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
