Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
this boner is exhausting
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
