Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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