can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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