At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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