Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
