We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
