i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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