I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
