i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
