I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
