Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
