just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize