I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
