is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
the raccoons are back...
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