its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
