seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
