I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
third nipple confirmed
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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