Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
