You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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