Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
