I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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