Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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