I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
